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The Big Choice

 22-Apr-2008

 

It's my younger son's eighteenth birthday tomorrow.

He's been an increasingly difficult lad. Not that he gets up to mischief or anything; he doesn't drink, smoke or frequent loose women (nor will he tell me where they live). However, he has his own way of thinking about the world, one diametrically opposed to ours. He doesn't, for example, see any virtue in work.

OK, neither do most teenage boys. But Alex is different. He is an anarchist, which I respect, but in practise this means he lives off the rest of us. He's an anarchist who doesn't believe in 'serving the man' but is outraged when his mother doesn't pick up his dirty clothes.

So. Tomorrow he faces a choice. He can either continue to live here as a member of the family - a son - with all the rights and responsibilities of a son. We as parents reserve the right to interfere mercilessly in his life, as we have done, demanding he either attend university or get a job, for example. And that he goes to bed before 5am and gets up before 3pm.

Or he can continue to live here, but as a boarder. He will pay market rates, and we will expect nothing of him beyond any other boarder. He can stay up as late as he likes, and participate in no more discussions about what he ought to be doing with his life.

Or he can leave.

He was faced with these choices last night. For five points, anyone want to guess what he chose? Without a moment's hesitation? And for a bonus twenty points, what his first words were? (A hint: it was a question.)

Comments

"Will you pay the rent?"

"Can I have the car?"

"What's for dinner, Mum?"


Three good tries, but nope.


If he attends uni will you pay for it?


Yes, on the condition he achieves a minimum standard (C or above). But that wasn't his question!


"If I stay as a boarder will you do my washing?"


Will you pay me an allowance so I can board?


Much closer. His comment on receiving the ultimatum was: 'How much?'

Not for a moment did he consider living here for free under the existing relationship. He wants us to stop interfering in his life so much he's willing to pay a weekly board.

Sigh.


If he is so adverse to work, how will he pay his board? I'm assuming that he is receiving unemployment benefits from the government? I'm sure you've probably already reminded him that a *true* anarchist would refuse to accept money from the establishment, but oddly enough, this never seems to occur to these radical young men (and women).

Look at it this way, at least he is still in the house and may occasionally exchange words possibly resembling conversation. Just keep your fingers crossed that he will grow out of it, 18 year old boys are not usually the prime example of humanity available *grin*.


You'd better stick to that "expect nothing of him beyond any other boarder" bit. Boarders don't get their washing done, can't be late with the rent, or leave the kitchen in a mess. If they pay fullboard, they have to be there at mealtimes or miss out. And so on.


Glenda, you're tough...but sounds quite fair to me!!